Seriously, people, it is no joke. 

Step 1: Gather supplies from all over the house, especially baskets of half-folded laundry containing one sleep sack but not the other.

Step 2: Coax Baby A into laying down for a diaper change by giving her an exciting toy.

Step 3: Remove Baby B from Baby A’s face and give back the toy.

Step 4: Grab Baby A, who crawled away half-naked and poopy while Baby B was being relocated.

Step 5: Get a clean diaper halfway on.

Step 6: Grab one leg of naked baby crawling away with her diaper halfway on.

Step 7: Rescue diaper cream from Baby B’s mouth. Pull Baby B off your leg long enough to get Baby A’s diaper on.

Step 8: Repeat crawling, retrieving and sibling-relocating steps with pajamas.

Step 9: Remember lotion, and decide it can wait til tomorrow.

Step 10: Repeat steps 1-9 with second baby.

Step 11: Start reading Goodnight Moon. Pull book out of each baby’s mouth when it gets to her favorite page.

Step 12: Give up reading and recite the last three pages by memory as babies crawl away in opposite directions.

Step 13: Entertain Baby A while nursing baby B.

Step 14: Entertain a half-asleep Baby B while nursing Baby A.

Step 15: Get Baby B 90% asleep before remembering her sleep sack. Only forget sleep sack on nights when the temps are below freezing outside.

Step 16. Put sleep sack on and get a now-bouncing and squealing Baby B sleepy again.

Step 17: Repeat steps 13 and 14 with Baby A. Do bedtime routine in whisper so Baby B stays asleep.

Step 18: Find the chocolate.