How Being A Mom Has Taught Me the Gospel

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I had heard before having Lucy and Catalina that parenting reflects ourselves back on us and shows us our weaknesses. I didn’t understand until recently, when certain little people began to display a will of their own.

In the few very long and very short weeks since that began in full force, I’ve discovered the only reason I was a patient parent before was that they didn’t test my patience. Now I remember from my days bossing my brothers around that few things upset me more than being disobeyed. I just didn’t expect to be reminded of that so soon. But here I am, learning that I am not patient at all.

After a frustrating ordeal, during which I inevitably add to the problem and huff like a teenager at my not-even-two year olds, I say to myself what I usually feel like saying to them: “Why did you have to do that the hard way?”

I have found so many opportunities to lose my patience these days, surprising even myself. But in those moments has come a sweeter grace than I could have expected. Lucy and Catalina forgive me immediately. They rush to comfort me when I apologize and explain how my heart is hurt by their disobedience.

In this, I’ve been reminded of the gospel, of Jesus’ blood covering every sin, so many times every day. He knew I would fail, and he covered those sins anyway. He still looks on me and sees a blameless daughter of God.

When I grieve over my failure and remember that, “My sin, not in part but the whole/ Was nailed to the cross and I bear it no more,” then I do sing, “Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, oh my soul!” He takes away not just the sin, but the shame of failure, too.

When I lose my cool or find myself again incapable of meeting all the needs of the day, I wake up the next morning to find God’s mercies are new, my conscience “purified from dead works so I can serve the living God” (Hebrews 9:14).

I really can’t do it all. But in Christ I find the sufficiency to meet every need and every to-do. In the Holy Spirit I find a Counselor who daily reminds me that when I fall short, godly sorrow leads to repentance, where Jesus’ blood covers all my failures and all my sins. He reminds me that God says, “I will remember their sins and lawless deeds no more.”

He reminds me that Jesus has cleared the way for me to boldly approach the throne of grace in time of need– which is often. My patience fails hourly, my strength by the minute as bedtime approaches, and I need His strength, his love, and his patience to finish the day with a peaceful heart and home.

Praise God for such sweet grace in every day moments.

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8 thoughts on “How Being A Mom Has Taught Me the Gospel

  1. Awww, that’s beautiful. The girls are learning wonderful lessons by your example!

    On a side note, I highly recommend getting this book: Love and Logic (Link: http://www.amazon.com/Love-Logic-Magic-Early-Childhood/dp/1930429002/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1452692987&sr=8-2&keywords=love+and+logic). It completely changed the way I viewed discipline as a nanny and saved me from losing patience all the time. It is an incredible resource! It will help you and the girls get through a lot of the frustrations that come with those so-called “terrible two’s” with much more ease. It will help eliminate temper tantrums at a young age. 🙂 Just my two cents.

      • My rule of thumb is this: if the child is old enough to start exerting a will of his/her own (even if he can’t communicate well) and has begun testing the boundaries put in place by the caregiver, then he/she is old enough to understand love and logic reasoning. The reasoning starts out small, of course, and gradually matures as the child matures. The book has all sorts of age-appropriate ideas and tips. The beauty of love and logic is that once you understand the basic foundation, you can cater it to the age/temperament of your child. It takes some creativity at times since every child is different. But it really helps take unnecessary stress off the caregiver and helps teach the child that all of actions have consequences, good or bad. The key overall, even with a child as young as a year, is consistency. A toddler will understand consistency quickly. 🙂 I hope that helps!

  2. Amen and amen. There was a really rough day recently that left me feeling like a terrible mother; between Callan arguing and Seán climbing chairs to spill and break and touch things that are off limits, I don’t even know how many times I lost my cool. So that afternoon I was laying on the couch and of course I ended up with two little boys climbing on me. We had a tickle fight, and then Callan sighed and said “we dust like you, Mama!” 🙂 Grace aboundeth, and His mercies are new every morning.

    • Oh, there are so many of those moments!! And they aren’t pretty like a blog makes it sound like they are, either. No end-of-novel shining light and halo. Just the worn-out feeling of knowing your own sin and failing. But then his grace comes, and his mercies are new every moment even, and it’s good. 🙂

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